Bunny Corcoran

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As mentioned on my twitter updates - the b*tch from hell was sacked from our company yesterday. This came as a huge surprise to myself and most of my colleagues. We know she’s singularly awful. We knew that she was vile, reptilian and almost wholly loathed across the firm - but we didn’t think she’d be sacked.

In fairness, we don’t know for sure that she’s been sacked (i.e. she may have resigned under pressure). But she has left the company. Following a meeting with HR and the CEO yesterday late afternoon (when I was at my interview) she was escorted off the premises. Her email account, work mobile and swipe entry-card were simultaneously revoked and the security guards downstairs were told to throw her out if she attempted to re-enter the building. Our industry can be very much like that if you pi$$ off the powers that be; you end up out on your ear, quite literally.

Of course - she deserved it. In the 11 or so years I’ve been working I’ve never met anyone quite so venomous or who should so, so obviously never have been hired. You know how she was hired? Because the CEO had worked with her at his previous company! Meaning she bypassed the usual channels to get in - multiple interviews, psychometrics, personality tests, etc, etc. Those would have picked up how indecently unbalanced and borderline psychiatric she actually is.

So there we go. The mood in the office was quite upbeat as word began to spread. The email finally came out about 5.15pm. Extremely short and to the point.

She was a demon (her nickname was ‘Linda’ from The Exorcist) but that demon has now been exorcised.

How instrumental was I? I don’t know, I think my carefully worded and quite forceful email of last week provided a momentum that ended up pushing her out. I galvanised others to write to HR to document her behaviours (which people did) and that gave the powers that be the documentary backup they required.

With luck our paths will never again cross. In my 7 years of working in the industry I’ve very rarely seen anything quite like this (there was the middle-aged married man at my last company who was caught ‘cottaging’ in the company’s basement car park which is not too far off; there was also the senior partner who swiped another partner at a partners’ meeting on the continent that resulted in his instant dismissal). Thus I guess it does happen, it’s just been a while.

She reaped what she had sown. She had her comeuppance and justice was served. I’m happy.

I’m now back from the second interview. Unlike the first, which lasted maybe 45-50 mins, this lasted 1h20m.

I was interviewed by FOUR people simultaneously, 2 of whom are Partners. Unlike the first interview which was in a very nice meeting room, but on the smallish-side and windowless (but still very comfortable), this one was in an amazing, huge, wood-panelled room (it could have sat 20) with floor to ceiling glass windows of London. It was jaw-dropping.

Anyway. To cut a long story short I gave a pretty darn good interview. Not saying I will get the job. I don’t know that. They’re taking a minor gamble on me if they were to offer me the job as I HAVEN’T worked in their sector before (professional services is quite broad), but I do have 7 years B2B professional services under my belt and there are a lot of commonalities.

I wasn’t nervous. I didn’t shake. I didn’t stammer. I engaged them all - I was confident, chatty, a good listener and asked all the right questions. I used every trick in the book from the 7 years I’ve been in the sector. I talked about how everything I do maximises shareholder value (in a tough, hard-core private sector organisation, everyone who isn’t a fee-earner MUST add value to the business) and I know this. I talked about reconciling expectations with perceptions. I talked at length about the importance of positioning, of competitor parity, of thought leadership and of what ‘great’ looks like.

One of the partners (we are talking about people earning hundreds of thousands of pounds a year, I kid you not - on paper such people can be quite intimidating) was a bit of a cold-fish, the other, however, was absolutely charming. He spoke at length on a question I asked. Really took the time to answer. I was drawn to him in a way, was uncanny. My honest opinion is that if I don’t go further, it will be because the cold-fish would have vetoed it. There was one question (the cold-fish asked what I thought about how and where their firm is rated in the industry, specifically their practice) that I didn’t answer well. And very stupidly, the agency had warmed me to swot up on this bit, and I didn’t. Ah well, you can’t expect the entire thing to be flawless.

I’ve now met 5 different people from the firm. The very last question I was asked as I was leaving, by the main guy I’ve been dealing with (who I also met last time) - was “what notice period are you on again?”. It’s hard to describe, but there was something about how he said it that… well, one shouldn’t get ahead of oneself. Also, though I think he’s keen - he won’t be the final decision maker I doubt.

I’m almost sure now that if they offered I would accept. The practice itself is one of the top in its (sub)sector in Europe and is generally at the forefront. Now is a good time to get in, by all accounts. Business is booming and their revenues are hugely up on last year. We haven’t talked package yet (one doesn’t tend to unless they make a formal offer at which point one negotiates). The sub-sector is one of the most high profile there is - it would set me up hugely for the future in terms of career potential, I really believe that. It was just filled with an energy, drive, glitz and dynamism that is so totally lacking in my current company.

Let’s just see what tomorrow brings. As soon as I hear anything I’ll post.

Today I had my fist personal training (PT) session with ‘J’.

I met J at the gym at the weekend. I was using the chest press (or whatever it’s called) and this guy wandered over with a smile on his face and kind of watched me. I had my headphones on. I pretended I hadn’t noticed to begin with but then he struck up a conversation. Out came the headphones and it was all mildly perturbing as my gym routine is the same month in month out and I do not (like most people) talk to anyone else whilst at the gym. You stay in your own little world. Which suits most people.

Anyway, he said “you must be new?” to which I said “errr, no, I’ve been coming here for one year now…”. “Ah,” said he, “well your posture is wrong; you need to lean back and stick your chest out”. Anyway, it soon transpired (I hadn’t realised until this point) that he was a PT. We had a fairly long chat; he was nice (I’m fairly sure he’s gay but so what - so am I, doesn’t mean much). Anyway, the long and the short of it is that we arranged for me to have a freebie session with him today, which I have now had. All members get a free session with a PT of their choice but it’s never something I’ve bothered with.

It went quite well. We started in one of the consultation rooms going over my stats. He won a rather gargantuan brownie point when, after discussing my weight, he said, apropos my age - “and you are twenty-….?”. “I’m 32″ I said. “Wow!” was his actual retort, “you certainly don’t look it”. That is the only upside of having rather oily pubescent skin - I’m regularly told I don’t look my age. One of the (indulge me, pray) highlights of my last holiday abroad, visiting my father, was when a middle-aged rather well to-do lady at his golf club enquired “and what are you studying at university?”. Dear papa laughed out loud but I was, well, not unhappy, shall we say.

Anyway, back on track. The gym was heaving - really, horribly heaving. But we managed to get on some of the machines (really esoteric looking things that I wouldn’t have touched in a million years). It really worked muscles in my arms (like the triceps) that I’ve never before worked and I enjoyed it. He pushed me quite hard. He was also very tactile, lots of pressing on my chest, repositioning my hands on the bars, holding my arms, etc. Being single one isn’t over-used to that kind of thing. Not unpleasant (though for the record I should state that I didn’t fancy him, I’m not into very muscly men, never have been, but he was friendly and bubbly which I did like).

So there we go. He’s obviously keen that I sign up to private lessons (they don’t get paid by the gym, but from what they charge their ‘clients’) which are £45 an hour. I’m tempted. I’ll probably do it in fact. On Saturdays. It’s not vanity, since stopping smoking I’ve made a huge effort to be healthy and on the gym front I have plateaued to an extent. I have a flat stomach, little to no fat, a few muscles, but that’s about it. There’s a lot more I can do. I do not - under any circumstances - want to be a ‘muscle mary’, but taking it to the next level is not a bad thing to do. So I probably will. Being (long-term) single makes you insecure about how you look and you do tend to go the extra mile.

There are worse things to spend one’s money on I’m sure.

Slept much better and woke up moments before the alarm at 6.50am.

A relatively painless journey in. Numerous things caught my eye.

The tramp (who I recognised as I think this is his territory - an ancient, worn, weather beaten old thing) - sitting on a railing reading The Financial Times. Incongrous.

Then, the down-syndrome girl, handing out freebie magazines (London Recruitment something, I forget exactly what it is).

Then the RNLI woman collecting for charity (it must be their annual day as there are RNLI people everywhere). A rather posh old bird she is too (but then this is Mayfair) -  I empty the shrapnel from my wallet into the bucket (less than £1 but it’s the thought that counts). “You’re a sailor?” she asks? “No,” say I, “but I know how important a cause it is”. Which I do.

Lunch is spent sunning oneself with a colleague on Green Park (along with the rest of Mayfair it seems, absolutely packed it was). Builders stripped to the waist, pin-striped men in suits, pretty young secretaries. Much of SW1 is here, it seems. My black trousers absorb the heat (plus I don’t have sunglasses on me) so we don’t over-do it.

One of my total favourite songs bar none, by gay Canadian folksy ‘church’ band The Hidden Cameras. The song is called ‘Boys of Melody’ from the album ‘The Smell of Our Own’.

We snapped these in Prague when looking at where to eat one evening. Two separate restaurants!

Now is the twilight zone.

I woke at 3.30am and couldn’t get back to sleep. It’s now just turning 6am. I don’t feel tooo bad, all things considered.

I’ve never had insomnia, at least, not until about 6 months ago when it began. I kind of know what causes it, much of which is ‘beyond the scope of this blog’ which is the euphemism those who know me better, from the old blog, should recognise by now.

I’m now listening to dance music (I used to be very into this back it the 90s) and drinking tea. It’s OK. Today (Monday) is a Bank Holiday so there is no work to go to! I’ll chill out today and go to bed early tonight. My eyes do burn a fair bit though.

Of course, the thing about insomnia is that you spend a LOT of time thinking. Thinking about the past, the present, the future, etc. People. That sort of thing. Also, I have a reasonable amount going on, especially on the work front.

I think my biggest issues at the moment revolve around singledom and close, intense friendships, which once were. I am, by nature, a sociable person and am not designed for a solitary life (I know some people quite like it and can take/leave relationships). Spending 3 days on your own (which is fine, I should add) does also exacerbate the thinking process to an extent. I *think* I’m at about the 4 year mark of being single now (Bridget Jones eat your heart out!) Anyway, I remain hopeful that as 2008 plays out it will be a year of positive change on all fronts.

I aim to be at the gym for about 9am, hopefully I won’t fall asleep on the treadmill!!

This is a meme (yes I finally know how to pronounce it now, thanks Hen! - lol) that I saw on someone else’s blog. It’s an interesting meme insofar as it helps your readers get to know you a little better through varying questions and contexts. There are 4 sections and you give 4 bits of info per section, as below:

4 PLACES I’VE BEEN (you can make this slightly more interesting than ‘Paris’; I think of it more like a place or situation)

1. In the Royal Albert Hall - in a box - during the last night of the Proms. Was hugely exciting, ‘A’s employer used to maintain a box there and staff get access to the seats for all shows via internal raffle. He was extremely lucky to get these. The great and the good were there and it was a very memorable evening.
2. In St Thomas’ Hospital’s A&E department in the early hours with a friend who overdosed on alcohol (either that or her drink was spiked; we still don’t know). I was up all night and still had to be at work the next morning; I felt dreadful by the end of that day.
3. In a seedy London strip club, straddled by a black hooker (those who knew my old blog will remember this). It was a real low, for many, many more reasons than simply this. It triggers memories of a strange period in my life (and this was less than 1 year ago).
4. On the balcony off the Chief Executive’s office smoking hashish at 3am on a week night. This isn’t disconnected to 3 above (though was a different night). Later, when my close friend ‘A’ found out, he went absolutely ballistic, mainly because he said if I’d been caught I would have been in enormous trouble. It reminds me that with certain people I’m ‘easily led’. Again, I’ve moved on from situations like that these days… it is funny, though, how life changes and how there are so many sides to a person’s persona, it seems - from the super-straight laced quite serious and responsible to the downright reckless and stupid. I was going through something of a Thelma & Louise stage back then (albeit we were 2 men, rather than 2 women)… C’est la vie, one lives and learns.

4 JOBS I’VE HAD

1. My first job was as a waiter in a small, sleepy family-run restaurant in Herne Bay, Kent. I was about 15 years old I think. I was quite nervous but got quite into it by the end. I went to quite a snooty boarding school in another part of the county in those days and this was the summer holiday and I was staying with my relatives in Herne Bay. I stood out like a sore thumb working in this very ‘local’ (think League of Gentlemen) little restaurant but it was probably good character building.
2. One of my best ever jobs was the ’summer of 96′. I worked at a bookstore in Harvard Square, Boston, Massachusetts, USA. I’d just completed an exchange year at the state’s main university and our visas enabled us to work right through the year as well as study. I didn’t earn much but I look back with very fond memories at this time in my life. I shared an old house in one of the poorer neighbourhoods with 4 other British exchange students (who all chain smoked, drank like fish and were into drugs - I had very little experience of any of these things up until this point!)
3. I worked in Japan teaching English for 1 year. This was one of the best years of my life as it was such an adventure, I met a huge number of people, travelled extensively and had the year of a lifetime. The downside is - that was aged 22 - now aged 32 nothing so good has since happened and you’re left wondering if the best is over! I’m sure it isn’t, but you get my drift.
4. As a temp in London when I first came to the city some 9-10 years ago, I remember getting a crappy temp clerical job at the HMPS headquarters in Pimlico. It was awful, really vile civil servicey building, people that looked so grey it wasn’t even funny and just a really ‘dead’ pall about the place. I lasted 1 morning and then simply walked out. Suffice to say that particular agency struck me off its books after that.

4 OF MY FAVOURITE FOODS

1. Indian - preferably a prawn masala. Also all the side dishes - sag aloo, poppadums, naan bread, mango lassi (to drink), etc. My other fave Indian dish is a masala dosai (south Indian speciality) which is like a giant pancake with a spicy potato filling.
2. Fish & Chips when done right, like at my local up the road, which is considered one of the best 4 fish & chip shops in London and is absolutely and completely divine. For me it is the original comfort food.
3. Bread & Butter pudding is my favourite dessert and has been for a long time. My other favourite is ’summer pudding’ (you know, made with bread? I think there’s a pattern here…)
4. Cakes, etc. I like almost all (homemade) cakes such as Victoria sponge, lemon, date & walnut, chocolate, muffins, etc. When my grandmother was alive she was a consummate baker and we had these treats all the time.

4 SCENES IN MOVIES I WISH I’D WRITTEN & DIRECTED

1. The bit in Aliens (one of my fave films of all time) when Signourney Weaver (who is my favourite actress) shrieks at the mother-alien terrorising the young child “GET AWAY FROM HER YOU *BITCH*!!!”.
2. The bit at the end of Four Weddings and a Funeral (right at the very end when they get it together) when Hugh Grant and Andie MacDowell are outside and it’s pissing down and Andie says “Is it raining? I hadn’t noticed”. Duhh - it was torrential, but it’s genius for some reason, I just love that bit.
3. Lots of bits of Lost in Translation which I find a hugely poignant film on so many levels. Bits where Scarlet Johannson is sitting with her legs up looking out the window at the huge sprawling metropolis outside. It’s Tokyo and there are so many people… and yet she’s so alone - she may as well be lost in a desert.
4. One of the bits in Brokeback Mountain where Ennis (Heath Ledger) and Jack (Jake Gyllenhaal) are in a cheap motel room (about half way through the film). Heath is holding Jake and they’re smoking (it’s a post coital scene if you catch my drift) but there is something dizzyingly tender about it and I love it. They’re both butch, masculine, manly men… and yet, they’re intimate and holding one another and it’s just… oh don’t get me started.

Anyway, I hereby tag:

• Suburban Mum
• Mum of 4
• Daphne
• Lula

After doing it they need to tag 4 people and on it goes. Feel free to ping-back to let me know when you’ve done it.

The BBC drama series Ashes to Ashes was one of the very best things on TV this year. I absolutely cannot wait until the next series!

I now have the soundtrack which I love.

This Bowie classic is sublime, truly. I don’t know what it is about the music, or the drama itself, but it transports me back. Granted, I was only 5 years old in 1981, but it seems soooo soooo long ago - like another life, another world. I can get deep but it’s too early for that at 10am on a Sunday morning.

I’ll just leave you with the video:

Via Hen I found out about TwittEarth which is like standard tweeting (i.e. instant updates) only you see a globe of the earth which keeps spinning as people all over the world tweet in real time. It’s fascinating to watch.

We truly, more than at any other time in our history, are citizens of a global village.

Twittearth